So I was reading the other day on defence mechanisms that we use. I found it quite informative. I reflected on what mechanisms I use personally and which ones I probably shouldn’t.
For example, while genuine humour is considered a healthy way of dealing with anxiety, wit (including sarcasm) is actually considered a form of displacement, which is somewhat neurotic and not very healthy. And I think there really is a difference. It is easy to make a sarcastic or dismissive statement to break a tense situation, but it really doesn’t make anyone feel any better. But to make everyone genuinely laugh can do wonders in actually dealing with the tension. It’s an interesting distinction.
Another distinction is between Suppression (which is healthy) and Repression (which is not). Suppression is taking a deep breath and counting to ten. This allows us to temporarily ignore the anxiety so that it can be dealt with at a more appropriate time. Repression, on the other hand, is wilfully ignoring the cause of our anxiety for so long that we actually forget why it makes us uncomfortable. All that remains are the negative feelings, which become irrational and neurotic. This was the case between me and my dislike of the City of Calgary. I repressed my dislike until it became totally irrational. Only when I was ready to deal with those feelings honestly was I able to begin to like the city again.
Now I’m being very careful to not psychoanalyse my friends and colleagues, because that would be less than helpful. But I think self-therapy can be good. As such, I found a list of the defences that are considered the healthiest, found scriptural backing and I will try to use these more consciously in the future. At the same time, I will try to not use the neurotic defences that I’ve been guilty of in the past. Sanity, here I come!
3 comments:
I am completely insane to begin with and my own hatred of Calgary is not irrational in the least. That city sucks the big one! Hehe.
"Sanity, here I come! -
Who had been there before?"
Not me. Hey, when you arrive - be sure to let us know what its like. I want to see whether its worth giving up my predictable patterns. Like the fact that I have moved every four months (at least) since I left High School. (Is that on the list?)
I looked for the book you requested I start with and its not in the library system. But I found tons of other books by the same author. So many in fact, that I think you are correct even in advising me to find this book from the library instead of purchasing it. Buying one of his books would just give him the idea that he needs to keep writing, but maybe he really wants and needs to take up a hobby or change careers. A change being as good as a break and all that. Maybe he also longs to study music.
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